My Last Breath
by kelbobs15
Summary: When Sam is diagnosed with cancer, she thinks it's the end of the world. When she takes matters into her own hands, many things come to light. A Jam fic written by my friend Abi


Chapter 1

Dearest Abi,  
By the time you've read this, i won't be here. I won't be here to watch little Jared grow up, I won't see you get married, I won't see you again.

Just remember one thing - I will always love you, with all my heart, no matter what you have thought in the past I have always tried my best to help you through life. I hope I have helped you enough to live your life to the full.

When I saw you with Hugh, I thought i'd lost you forever, i'm so glad I didn't. Remember, I LOVE YOU!

I've left almost everything to you, the house, my money, all my asssets.

I'm so sorry I did this to you, but the hardest thing for me to do is say goodbye to you.

I love you.  
Best wishes in the future,  
lots of love

Mum   
xx

Dear Phil,  
I'm so sorry to have to do this to you, you are the best friend I have ever had! Your were always there for me, and always will be. I relied on your comfort when I lost the baby, I felt so weak & vunerable. I can't say thank you enough for that. Ever.

I was there when you got shot, and you were there when Hugh had Abi, I couldn't have lived through that awful experience without you.

When we slept together in Romania, it felt so right, but I should never have kissed you, we aren't meant for each other, i'm so sorry Phil, I lead you on.

As I write this letter, I cry with all my heart, this page is more tear-stained than you could imagine.

Best wishes for the future, and once again, sorry,  
Love from  
Sam  
xx

Dear Jack,  
You have been like a father to me over the years, you were always a great box, and will always be to the others.

I shouldn't have accepted the DI's job, if I hadn't, you wouldn't be looking for yet ANOTHER new DI.

Best wishes, love from  
Sam xx

Dear Jo,  
When we started working together, you thought I hated you, but I could never, ever hate you. You are the bestest girl friend I ever had, if nothing more.

I should of acted on my feelings sooner, but I haven't, and now I may never get the chance. Jo, I didn't hate you, I was in love with you. I. Loved. You. I still do, I bloody love you Jo! Until this very day, every time I see you my heart skips a beat. My legs go weak at the knees & I feel my heart flutter. Jo, if this isn't love, I don't no what is.

I'm so sorry laid this all on you. But I had to tell you before I go. 

I'll always be thinking of you.  
Lots of love,   
Sam  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam opened the bottle of pills as she wrote Jo's name on the pink, rosey envelope. This was it. She placed it on the pile of letters, above everyone elses & reached for the bottle of gin. She couldn't take it. She had dealed with lots of shit before, but this beat the bunch. She had cancer. Breast cancer. Gina had cancer, Sam told herself, she dealed with it, but Gina was such a strong woman! That wasn't Sam.

The usually strong woman had walked home from St. Hughs in a daze. In her left hand, a letter, confirming she had cancer. Tears streamed down her face, as she shakily opened the front door. Having walked through to the lounge, she tried to pull herself together. She would be okay. Wouldn't she?!

Sam couldn't, would'nt deal with this. As she contemplated suicide, she realised how selfish it seemes, how selfish it WAS!

Shakily opening the bottle of pills she placed a hanful on her tongue, and swallowed them with some scotch. As she began to feel dizzy, she laid down on the sofa, and put her music on. This was it. She was going to die. End of.

Meanwhile, back at work, Jo was wondering where Sam had got to.  
"Guv, any idea where Sam is?" Jo questioned her senior.  
"Said she had a doctors appointment. Why?" Jack replied.  
"Well she hasn't returned yet! Want me to go check on her?!" Jo was getting worried now!  
"Yeah, umm, go to her house first!"  
"Alright" Jo said as she grabbed her coat & keys, "i'll call you when I find her!"

As Jo reached Sam's house she heard 'Cancer' by My Chemica l Romance blasting out of her windows. Jo knocked on the door, and when no-one answered, she looked through the window. "Shit!" Jo said aloud, to no-one in particular."Sam, what have you done!?" Jo banged on the windows, it was no use, that was when she saw the gin, the open bottle of pills, and the letters.

Jo had no choice - break down the door or leave Sam in there on her own. The latter was not going to happen. Jo loved Sam WAY to much. She kicked the door down, and ran through to the lounge. She rushed over to Sam,"Sam! SAM! Sam!" Jo checked for a pulse, at least there was one! Jo dialled 999. "Ambulance" Jo requested,"Yeah, my friend, shes taken loads of paracetemol. I think she's overdosed." Jo was hugging Sam's limp body, willing her to breathe."52 Canley Road. ...Okay thank you."

As Jo put down her phone, she sat on the sofa, putting Sam's head on her lap, gently stroking Sams head, Jo opened the letter with her name on.

Dear Jo,  
When we started working together, you thought I hated you, but I could never, ever hate you. You are the bestest girl friend I ever had, if nothing more.

I should of acted on my feelings sooner, but I haven't, and now I may never get the chance. Jo, I didn't hate you, I was in love with you. I. Loved. You. I still do, I bloody love you Jo! Until this very day, every time I see you my heart skips a beat. My legs go weak at the knees & I feel my heart flutter. Jo, if this isn't love, I don't no what is.

I'm so sorry laid this all on you. But I had to tell you before I go. 

I'll always be thinking of you.  
Lots of love,   
Sam  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jo was sobbing her eyes out, freely letting the tears flow, she didn't care. "Sam, sweetie, I love you to!" Jo sobbed harder,"and I will NOT lose you! I love you!"

As the wail of sirens drew closer, Jo regianed her composure. This was the beginning of hell. Hell that took it's place on earth. Jo wouldn't lose Sam. As Jo climbed in the ambulance, she phoned Jack. "Guv, it's Jo," Jo sniffed,"I found Sam, get some uniform to guard the door at Sam's place, I had to kick it in! And come down the St. Hughs with Phil & Gina." Jo took hold of Sam's limp hand."She tried to kill herself!" As Jack hung up, Jo & Sam pulled up at St. Hughs, Sam was rushed inside, leaving Jo to wait for Phil, Gina & Jack.

This was going to be a long, long night.


End file.
